The four rules of Active Listening

Life is demanding.

Between relentless meetings, emails, text messages, questions to answer, problems to solve, fires to put out – it can begin to feel like you are drowning in an vast sea of responsibilities. Once you check something off your to-do list, 5 items appear in its place.

But there’s hope!

One of the most powerful lesson I have learned in my over twenty five years of communication is that all we have to do is remember that each interaction is spring-loaded with profound possibilities.

So, how do we make each moment count?

Practically and tactically – what do we do?

First, Listen Intently:

Effective listening is oft hailed as the holy grail of exemplary communication. But few people get it right.

That’s because it takes meaningful practice and focus to connect with others, detect nuances, figure out whose issue it is, and determine what kind of help people need to do their best.

When you master being truly present in an interaction, you can become (an aerobic) a great listener.

This means you are fully engaged, inhabiting the moment and paying attention to the other party with laser focus.

Give the other person the space to be heard.

Dig deep. Be curious. Get to the bottom of it! Ask for the evidence and take the time you need to fully grasp the issue.

Attitude, attention, and adjustment, play a key role in listening skills.

Active listening builds strong relationships and, while it may not come naturally to many of us, it’s an invaluable communication skill.

Becoming an excellent listener will take determination and practice and it will be well worth it in both your professional and personal life.

The non-active listener sometimes avoids the message if he feels it difficult to be understood or too hard to be followed.

Active listening is a skill that can be acquired and developed with practice.

The Four Rules of Active Listening are:

• Seek to understand before you seek to be understood
• Be non-judgmental
• Give your undivided attention to the speaker
• Ask good questions to understand exactly what it is about

And always have in your mind: Listen to understand, speak to be understood.